Why you need a Dick Laser at your Bachelor Party

Let’s be real: bachelor parties aren’t about quiet dinners and polite conversation. They’re about chaos, questionable decisions, and memories you won’t be allowed to talk about at work. Enter the Dick Laser—a tiny, gloriously immature gadget that projects a glowing penis wherever you point it. Wall? Dick. Ceiling? Dick. Your buddy’s drink while he’s mid-toast? Dick. It’s not just a laser pointer. It’s a rite of passage. A tool of mischief. A glowing badge of poor decision-making and unstoppable laughter.

But wait, there's more! The Pen Flashlight is here to class things up... for exactly 0.2 seconds before you realize it also shoots a radiant white penis icon. It's like James Bond, if Q was drunk and worked at Spencer’s. Scribble a phone number, sign a bar tab, and then bam!—you blind someone across the room with projected filth. It’s sleek. It’s subtle. It’s completely inappropriate. And it’s exactly the kind of energy your night (and your group chat for the next 5 years) needs.

So why do you need these absurd little tools? Because life is short, and projecting anatomically offensive light beams is forever. Whether you’re pranking friends, crashing a Zoom meeting in style, or sending a very bold message to your neighbor’s cat, the Dick Laser and Pen Flashlight are your go-to accessories for turning any occasion into a wildly inappropriate spectacle. Let there be light—and let it be shaped like a penis.